Christmas is around the corner. I know because 'red cup' season (my all-time favorite season) starts on Tuesday. As I mentally start to prepare for Christmas, anxiety wells up in me & I begin to stress over my finances & Christmas presents & traffic & long lines everywhere!! I quickly forget what this season is truly all about.
God has been working in my heart a lot lately...healing brokenness & softening bitterness. He's been breaking down pride barriers so that I can truly accept His healing & grace. He's filling me up & His blessings continue to astound me. The thing I tend to forget is this: the only reason I am able to experience all of this is because Jesus humbled Himself & gave His life as a love offering for all humanity.
At the church I visited today I saw a video for Advent Conspiracy [adventconspiracy.org]. (The video is on my profile page) They showed a statistic that put Christmas into perspective for me. In the United States we spend $450,000,000,000 on Christmas. That's 450 billion dollars if you were thrown off by all those zeros. Now I don't know about you, but that's a lot of money to me. They also shared that the estimated cost to solve the world's water crisis & bring clean water to everyone is $10,000,000,000...10 billion dollars! Those numbers put my life into perspective.
Celebrating the birth of Jesus should be a time when we experience & worship the God who gave Himself for us. The God who disadvantaged Himself for you & me. When I start to lose sight of Christ in my life everything becomes chaotic! When we lose sight of Christ at Christmastime, a season that should be full of adoration & love & community becomes a frenzy. My store is opening at 11:00pm on Thanksgiving night to accommodate all of the black friday customers who wait for hours to be the first in line to get the best deal on that action hero doll which will only see action for about a month. I don't know about you, but there have been numberous times in my life where someone's asked me what I've gotten for Christmas & even a few days later I can't remember! My life at Christmastime reflects my stubborn selfishness.
One thing that sounds much more appealing than presents this year is presence. I don't care about that sweater I'll wear once...or that book I'll probably never read, I care about creating moments with my family & friends that I will always remember. I want to bake Christmas goodies, decorate a Christmas tree, sing Christmas songs, & take the season slow so I can enjoy each day that passes. I want to make presents that will be meaningful & economically appropriate for my circumstance. I want to put my money to use where it will be more effective.
So which story does my life tell each year? Does my life tell the story of stress, selfishness, anxiety, & frustration. One where I'm too busy to make memories with family & completely broke from spending. Or does my life tell the story of my amazing, mighty God who came to earth to save us. A God who gave the ultimate gift so that I can live a life full of hope & peace. I want my life this year to tell a different story...I want my life to worship the God of the Christmas story.
Monday, November 3, 2008
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
"i'm missing one"
About two years ago I was volunteering with a church in Eugene. I worked with the babies up to four years of age. We had about five to eight children regularly in our class & we would teach them typical lessons about sharing & God's love. Most of the weeks we would have a coloring page they could work on that had something to do with the week's lesson. One week this little two & a half year old boy named Adam kept glancing around at his crayons with a bewildered look on his face.
I asked him, "Adam is everything okay?"
He answered me, "I'm missing one!"
I looked down at what must have been a pile of at least thirty various colored crayons in front of him & chuckled to myself...how would he know if he was missing one? It was a really cute interaction.
Later I got to thinking about how this compares to the story of the lost sheep in the Bible. The Shepherd left his flock of ninety-nine sheep to search for the one missing sheep. Because that one sheep was important to Him.
In the same way...God looks around & says "I'm missing one" (or a lot more than one) & that missing person is important to God. If that missing person is important to God...they should be important to us as well.
I'd like to think that that missing person was important to me...but a lot of times I think I get so caught up in my own reality that I don't notice the areas that God has called me to minister to on a daily basis. I pray that I will continually become more & more sensitive to His direction as He shows me, "hey Shelly, I'm missing one."
I asked him, "Adam is everything okay?"
He answered me, "I'm missing one!"
I looked down at what must have been a pile of at least thirty various colored crayons in front of him & chuckled to myself...how would he know if he was missing one? It was a really cute interaction.
Later I got to thinking about how this compares to the story of the lost sheep in the Bible. The Shepherd left his flock of ninety-nine sheep to search for the one missing sheep. Because that one sheep was important to Him.
In the same way...God looks around & says "I'm missing one" (or a lot more than one) & that missing person is important to God. If that missing person is important to God...they should be important to us as well.
I'd like to think that that missing person was important to me...but a lot of times I think I get so caught up in my own reality that I don't notice the areas that God has called me to minister to on a daily basis. I pray that I will continually become more & more sensitive to His direction as He shows me, "hey Shelly, I'm missing one."
Monday, August 18, 2008
wasted time
Sometimes I get discouraged. I like to think it happens to everyone at times...at least I'm not alone. I'm at this point that can best be described as "blah." Have you ever been in that spot where you just feel like all your efforts in life, everything you've strived for, everything you've worked hard for, given money to it's all wasted time & efforts? I get that way...where I just don't know why I've been doing what I've been doing if all it amounts to is the point where I'm at...which doesn't seem like much. I heard an encouraging word today that gave me this insight.
In Genesis, Jacob was living with his entire family on his father-in-law's land. He's in his sixties & finally leaves in the night to start his own life with his family & have land to call his own. He settles in a spot & begins to dig a well...because water is essential to life. His daughter Dinah is raped by a guy in a town nearby & to make a long story short two of Jacob's sons go into the town & kill all of the men to avenge their sister. Now after Jacob has dug this well & is finally feeling settled & accomplished he has to pick up everything...all his livestock, belongings, his entire family & move again. He probably felt that the well he had dug was just a load of wasted effort & time.
Nearly two thousand years later a woman was drawing water at that very well, when she had an encounter that changed her life forever...she met Jesus & He showed her a new way to life!
God is never wasteful.
The efforts that Jacob made...the well that he dug was used years later by God for good. Jacob didn't even see the effects of his work in his lifetime.
It's reassuring to know that God won't waste anything that I do for Him. Even when I get discouraged & I feel like my efforts are completely in vain...He has a plan that is deeper than me & it reaches farther than what my mind can comprehend.
1 Corinthians 15:58 - Therefore, my dear brothers & sisters, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain.
My life is changing...as it always has been. I feel like my time has come to move on...& I'm not sure what that entails completely but I know God is directing me in new directions & closing doors in areas that seem to be His clear guidance to move on. I'm excited to see where He'll take me from here...excited about all the people I'll meet along the way...& excited about the ways He will use me. I know that no matter how discouraged I become...God is never wasteful.
In Genesis, Jacob was living with his entire family on his father-in-law's land. He's in his sixties & finally leaves in the night to start his own life with his family & have land to call his own. He settles in a spot & begins to dig a well...because water is essential to life. His daughter Dinah is raped by a guy in a town nearby & to make a long story short two of Jacob's sons go into the town & kill all of the men to avenge their sister. Now after Jacob has dug this well & is finally feeling settled & accomplished he has to pick up everything...all his livestock, belongings, his entire family & move again. He probably felt that the well he had dug was just a load of wasted effort & time.
Nearly two thousand years later a woman was drawing water at that very well, when she had an encounter that changed her life forever...she met Jesus & He showed her a new way to life!
God is never wasteful.
The efforts that Jacob made...the well that he dug was used years later by God for good. Jacob didn't even see the effects of his work in his lifetime.
It's reassuring to know that God won't waste anything that I do for Him. Even when I get discouraged & I feel like my efforts are completely in vain...He has a plan that is deeper than me & it reaches farther than what my mind can comprehend.
1 Corinthians 15:58 - Therefore, my dear brothers & sisters, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain.
My life is changing...as it always has been. I feel like my time has come to move on...& I'm not sure what that entails completely but I know God is directing me in new directions & closing doors in areas that seem to be His clear guidance to move on. I'm excited to see where He'll take me from here...excited about all the people I'll meet along the way...& excited about the ways He will use me. I know that no matter how discouraged I become...God is never wasteful.
Saturday, July 26, 2008
if i'm not me who will be?
Here's what God's been teaching me lately: if I'm not me...who will be? To me that's a loaded question. I think so many times in my life I try to be something I'm not...I try to search for who I really am...I have to take a step back and figure out what I am all about. God didn't make a mistake on me...I wasn't supposed to be more of this or more of that. He made me just how He wanted me to be...He just made me me. I can't be someone else...I can't be different than how I really am because I won't be quite as effective for Him that way. I need to embrace my own style and my own personality and my own ways and let Him shine through. I also don't need to force others to be like me...to like the same things that I like. I'm looking for acceptance not conformity. God uses me in my weakness. He uses me in the inadequate state that I'm in. He wouldn't want me to be anything other than me. I think a lot of times when I get burnt out it's because I am trying to be something or someone that I'm not. He loves me and accepts me just where I'm at and wants to use that...He wants to grow me from here...not from some further point on the journey.
"You see the depths of my heart and You love me the same, You are amazing God!" - Indescribable by Laura Story
"You see the depths of my heart and You love me the same, You are amazing God!" - Indescribable by Laura Story
Monday, June 23, 2008
here I am Lord...send me
Recently I have been very passionate about missions. God has been daily impacting my life and pressing on me a desire to serve people. My heart yearns to become a member of a separate culture and society (Africa and India specifically). Even though blood is truly my biggest fear...I am considering getting a health/first aid certificate or degree because the need for health care is so great throughout the world. I don't fear for my life or my wellbeing. God is so much bigger than me and He is at work. My life is simply equal to the rising and setting of the sun...in the grand picture it isn't going to be very long. I trust that God will keep His promise in Deuteronomy 31:6 where He says: "Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you." I don't fear death. I honestly fear going through life and never following my passions...never submitting to my calling.
The more I talk to people I hear that missions is a passion God is spreading in the hearts of many. I had a conversation with Travis tonight about his calling and his passions. That guy is going to do great things...I know it. Michelle and I are talking about going together in a few years. Jakob has expressed to me his passions as well.
The way I see it...generosity isn't just a money thing. 1 Timothy 6:7 says "For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it." Also in Luke 12:13-21 Jesus tells a parable of a man who had much but kept it to himself then died and his wealth went to waste. We feel like we deserve what we have because we've worked hard for it...but God has given us every blessing...He even gave us the breath, strength, and will to work hard for the things He's blessed us with. I'd consider every single breath a blessing from the Lord. He has the power to give and take away. I think we can be selfish not only with our money but also with our lives. I don't want to be selfish with my life...I want to use my life to serve people and I just so happen to feel called to serve people in specific locations. You could feel compelled to serve people in your home town...and honestly I think that's the best place to start!
I don't want to watch my fear become a reality as I sit on my butt and do nothing to follow my passions. I want to get there one day...whatever it takes. Jesus Christ came and died to save us all...every human being that has ever walked the face of this earth. Why? Because He loves us all...He loves us so much that He would rather go through hell then go to heaven without us. In the same way that a child will never love their parent as much as a parent loves a child--I don't believe we will ever fully comprehend God's love for us because we aren't capable of loving like He does. I just want to let His love flow into my life...and overflow onto people I encounter. That's my passion...that's essentially what it all comes down to.
The more I talk to people I hear that missions is a passion God is spreading in the hearts of many. I had a conversation with Travis tonight about his calling and his passions. That guy is going to do great things...I know it. Michelle and I are talking about going together in a few years. Jakob has expressed to me his passions as well.
The way I see it...generosity isn't just a money thing. 1 Timothy 6:7 says "For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it." Also in Luke 12:13-21 Jesus tells a parable of a man who had much but kept it to himself then died and his wealth went to waste. We feel like we deserve what we have because we've worked hard for it...but God has given us every blessing...He even gave us the breath, strength, and will to work hard for the things He's blessed us with. I'd consider every single breath a blessing from the Lord. He has the power to give and take away. I think we can be selfish not only with our money but also with our lives. I don't want to be selfish with my life...I want to use my life to serve people and I just so happen to feel called to serve people in specific locations. You could feel compelled to serve people in your home town...and honestly I think that's the best place to start!
I don't want to watch my fear become a reality as I sit on my butt and do nothing to follow my passions. I want to get there one day...whatever it takes. Jesus Christ came and died to save us all...every human being that has ever walked the face of this earth. Why? Because He loves us all...He loves us so much that He would rather go through hell then go to heaven without us. In the same way that a child will never love their parent as much as a parent loves a child--I don't believe we will ever fully comprehend God's love for us because we aren't capable of loving like He does. I just want to let His love flow into my life...and overflow onto people I encounter. That's my passion...that's essentially what it all comes down to.
nanny shelly's diary: final installment
I wrote a blog in the airport as I was heading home...but I couldn't get a signal for the internet so I didn't post it. Unfortunately I forgot I had written it with all the busy-ness of being home. So here it is:
Well...I'm sitting in an airport terminal (again) writing a blog. Hmmm...maybe they put me in a blog mood? Or maybe not. One thing about airport terminals is that they are great for people watching. I'm honestly taking a while to write this blog...because Chris Brown's smooth voice in my ear is a bit distracting...for sure!
The contrast between Virginia weather and what I hear Oregon is up to will be fun. One hundred degree days with humidity to sixty degrees and rainy.
Well the boys started school this week. Alex jumped right in and was totally in his element. It was actually difficult to pry him off the playground with the other kids. Michael isn't a huge fan of the idea yet, but it will be so good for him.
One of the most exciting things that happened this week was the thunder storms on Wednesday. They started during the boys nap around 2:00 and continued on and off until about 9:00. The thunder was shaking the house, the lightning was the only thing that was lighting up the house, the power went out for a bit, and the rain and wind was a flurry of grey outside. We also spent a good deal of the evening in the basement because of tornado warnings. The next day we found out that eight tornadoes touched down in the area...one fairly close to where the house is. I can honestly say I've never in my life experienced tornado warnings...I wasn't even scared cuz it was too cool.
As usual I have a few Alex quotes for the week. That kid cracks me up! Goodness.
I told him yesterday that I would miss him a lot and his response was, "good!"
I asked him earlier this week if he likes peaches and he said, "Peaches? They smell like money...I like money!" Ha! I don't really have any idea where he gets some of this stuff!
One day Elizabeth was trying to get the DVD player working so we could watch "Enchanted" and once she had it figured out Alex said, "give me a high five there girl!"
The one that had Elizabeth and I laughing for quite a while was this: We picked the boys up from school yesterday and went through the Taco Bell/Kentucky Fried chicken drive through window. Elizabeth asked Alex what he wanted and he said that he wanted a "cadooda." Her and I looked at each other and just started busting up laughing...he meant a quesadilla.
I miss the boys already. As they were dropping me off at the airport Alex asked me if I'd be back tomorrow. I am definitely leaving a piece of my heart in Virginia. I can't wait until I can come visit them now.
Well...I'm sitting in an airport terminal (again) writing a blog. Hmmm...maybe they put me in a blog mood? Or maybe not. One thing about airport terminals is that they are great for people watching. I'm honestly taking a while to write this blog...because Chris Brown's smooth voice in my ear is a bit distracting...for sure!
The contrast between Virginia weather and what I hear Oregon is up to will be fun. One hundred degree days with humidity to sixty degrees and rainy.
Well the boys started school this week. Alex jumped right in and was totally in his element. It was actually difficult to pry him off the playground with the other kids. Michael isn't a huge fan of the idea yet, but it will be so good for him.
One of the most exciting things that happened this week was the thunder storms on Wednesday. They started during the boys nap around 2:00 and continued on and off until about 9:00. The thunder was shaking the house, the lightning was the only thing that was lighting up the house, the power went out for a bit, and the rain and wind was a flurry of grey outside. We also spent a good deal of the evening in the basement because of tornado warnings. The next day we found out that eight tornadoes touched down in the area...one fairly close to where the house is. I can honestly say I've never in my life experienced tornado warnings...I wasn't even scared cuz it was too cool.
As usual I have a few Alex quotes for the week. That kid cracks me up! Goodness.
I told him yesterday that I would miss him a lot and his response was, "good!"
I asked him earlier this week if he likes peaches and he said, "Peaches? They smell like money...I like money!" Ha! I don't really have any idea where he gets some of this stuff!
One day Elizabeth was trying to get the DVD player working so we could watch "Enchanted" and once she had it figured out Alex said, "give me a high five there girl!"
The one that had Elizabeth and I laughing for quite a while was this: We picked the boys up from school yesterday and went through the Taco Bell/Kentucky Fried chicken drive through window. Elizabeth asked Alex what he wanted and he said that he wanted a "cadooda." Her and I looked at each other and just started busting up laughing...he meant a quesadilla.
I miss the boys already. As they were dropping me off at the airport Alex asked me if I'd be back tomorrow. I am definitely leaving a piece of my heart in Virginia. I can't wait until I can come visit them now.
Sunday, June 1, 2008
nanny shelly's diary: week nine
Hello world!
...or hello to everyone who reads my blogs.
Hi mom! :)
Well this will officially be my last Sunday night blog from the East Coast. I fly home next Saturday...quite late...I will attempt to post a blog from the airport about this next week.
The boys and I had a nice week together. The boys got their library cards so we were able to bring books and movies home to enjoy. Alex was also able to play on the computers in the Children's section. He loves doing that! There's one game that has you paint a picture...it seems to be his favorite. Michael and I wander through the picture books and I read to him while Alex plays. One day I asked Alex if he liked playing on the computers and he said, "I wasn't playing, I was emailing!"
Alex officially has the movie "Alvin & the Chipmunks" memorized. His favorite part is when Alvin says, "major rock stars!" And if you've never seen the movie you'll have no clue what I'm talking about right now.
One day while I was sitting on the couch the boys took two wet wipes and tried to rub off my tattoo...cuz my foot was dirty. To their frustration it just wouldn't come off! Funny how that works.
They also took almost every toy from their playroom in the basement and put it into their Thomas-the-train-play-tent-thing. I asked Alex why they were moving everything and he informed me that they were trying to hide from the giraffes. I learned about Alex's fear of giraffes.
One day I tried to get the boys to take a nap...and Michael really wasn't wanting to take a nap this day. But alas! after two headbutts and an elbow to the nose he was out! In the battle of child versus sleep, thank goodness sleep mostly wins.
Today we made our way over to Camden Yards to watch the Orioles play the Red Sox. It was so much fun! I do love me some baseball. I was the burnt, sweaty blonde in the second row third base side. We ended up going to the suite where Jim's business friends were...and wow! Never been in a suite before...it was pretty cool! Alex kept putting his fingers in his mouth and screaming...it took me a second to realize that he was "whistling." Michael had a fun time wandering around...he's a two year old who is very interested in everything! The boys were able to go into a bounce house and eat baseball park hot dogs...the best in my opinion! A church near the ballpark had a sign that said "May God bless the O's, and maybe the Sox, but those yankees--Lord, forgive us our thoughts."
A few Alex quotes:
He and I were hitting a ball back and forth and he missed it and said "woopsiedaisy!" Now he says it cuz it cracks me up so much. It reminds me of Hugh Grant's character in "Notting Hill."
Tonight at dinner he asked Elizabeth what happened to the "dinner carpets"--meaning the place mats. Pretty cute.
Until next week...
shells
...or hello to everyone who reads my blogs.
Hi mom! :)
Well this will officially be my last Sunday night blog from the East Coast. I fly home next Saturday...quite late...I will attempt to post a blog from the airport about this next week.
The boys and I had a nice week together. The boys got their library cards so we were able to bring books and movies home to enjoy. Alex was also able to play on the computers in the Children's section. He loves doing that! There's one game that has you paint a picture...it seems to be his favorite. Michael and I wander through the picture books and I read to him while Alex plays. One day I asked Alex if he liked playing on the computers and he said, "I wasn't playing, I was emailing!"
Alex officially has the movie "Alvin & the Chipmunks" memorized. His favorite part is when Alvin says, "major rock stars!" And if you've never seen the movie you'll have no clue what I'm talking about right now.
One day while I was sitting on the couch the boys took two wet wipes and tried to rub off my tattoo...cuz my foot was dirty. To their frustration it just wouldn't come off! Funny how that works.
They also took almost every toy from their playroom in the basement and put it into their Thomas-the-train-play-tent-thing. I asked Alex why they were moving everything and he informed me that they were trying to hide from the giraffes. I learned about Alex's fear of giraffes.
One day I tried to get the boys to take a nap...and Michael really wasn't wanting to take a nap this day. But alas! after two headbutts and an elbow to the nose he was out! In the battle of child versus sleep, thank goodness sleep mostly wins.
Today we made our way over to Camden Yards to watch the Orioles play the Red Sox. It was so much fun! I do love me some baseball. I was the burnt, sweaty blonde in the second row third base side. We ended up going to the suite where Jim's business friends were...and wow! Never been in a suite before...it was pretty cool! Alex kept putting his fingers in his mouth and screaming...it took me a second to realize that he was "whistling." Michael had a fun time wandering around...he's a two year old who is very interested in everything! The boys were able to go into a bounce house and eat baseball park hot dogs...the best in my opinion! A church near the ballpark had a sign that said "May God bless the O's, and maybe the Sox, but those yankees--Lord, forgive us our thoughts."
A few Alex quotes:
He and I were hitting a ball back and forth and he missed it and said "woopsiedaisy!" Now he says it cuz it cracks me up so much. It reminds me of Hugh Grant's character in "Notting Hill."
Tonight at dinner he asked Elizabeth what happened to the "dinner carpets"--meaning the place mats. Pretty cute.
Until next week...
shells
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